Thursday, September 22, 2005

posted by: copernicus on 9/22/2005 02:39:00 AM
Damn, I'm only posting like once a week now.

I'm teaching myself how to make soups. I don't know how many of you know this, but I used to be a cook before the bartending jobs, strip club bouncer jobs and nursing school. I was a Kitchen Trainer at an Outback Steakhouse for over 3 years. I learned how to make a lot of things, but I always wanted to learn more about soups, stews and baking.

A few nights ago, the girlfriend and I were standing in front of an open refrigerator and pantry, respectively, lamenting about what to make for dinner. I noticed that we had red beans, potatoes, carrots, corn, green beans, lima beans and chicken boullion cubes.

I got an idea.

"Baby, go make a cocktail and IM with your sister. I'm going to make my very first soup."

I got out a saucepan and started boiling 3 cups of water with 3 chicken boullion cubes.

I got out a skillet and heated olive oil and minced garlic.

I threw the carrots, corn, green beans and lima beans into the skillet and sauteed them.

I boiled the red beans in a big pot and cut three medium Idaho Russet potatoes into cubes.

I drained the beans, then threw the chicken broth, sauteed vegetables and potatoes into the pot with the beans.

I boiled them all together with some salt, pepper, garlic powder, onion powder, a bit of sesame oil and something we call Cockspice.

Cockspice is a Cuban seasoning I discovered when I lived in Miami, and haven't found anywhere else I've lived so far. I have to have my friend Todd send me a big industrial-sized cannister of it a few times a year. You can use it on beef, chicken, pork, seafood and many other things and it is delicious.

It's really called "Sazon Completa" or "Complete Seasoning" if you don't speak Spanish, and is made by the Badia company.

We call it "Cockspice" because the last time Todd sent me a supply, he decided it would be funny to cut out pornographic pictures and tape them to the cannister.

As a show of defiance, we refused to remove the pictures, so when you open the spice cabinet in our kitchen, there is a large plastic bottle filled with pungent green spice and a picture of a woman sucking a nice big cock and the caption: "WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH 3 MORE INCHES???".

I'm doing just fine without the extra 3 inches by the way. Hell, if I had 3 more inches the girlfriend wouldn't let me in anymore. She's a small girl, and I'm pushing her limit as it is.

Anyway, once the cockspice was added, I put the lid on the pot and let it all cook and blend together.

It was pretty damn good, and the girlfriend will back this up. A hell of a first effort.

Tonight I decided to try again. Same recipe, but I added a 28 oz. can of crushed tomatoes to make it a red, tomato based soup, and a pound of beef-chuck steak that said "for use in stews" on the package.

I cut the steak into bite-sized chunks and browned it with a coating of cockspice, then added it and the tomatoes to the pot and brought everything to a boil. Then I reduced the flame and let it simmer until the potatoes and beans were soft.

The potatoes and beans absorb the chicken broth as they cook, so in the end you're left with a thick red stew, teeming with tasty veggies and tender chunks of steak.



I have a large pot full of this yummy stew that could serve 6, and the whole thing cost about 6 bucks.

Of course it's just the skinny little girlfriend and I, so we got dinner and 2 days worth of leftovers for like $1.00 a meal.

Oh, and I made some garlic bread to go with it, but next time I think some honey-glazed cornbread would be better.

Damn, I love cooking.



I originally placed this pic earlier in the post, but it kind of ruined the goal of making the reader hungry.....well, hungry for my stew anyway. If it made you hungry for cock I can't be held responsible........Jaden.

I thought you knew, fool.