Tuesday, April 05, 2005

posted by: copernicus on 4/05/2005 03:01:00 AM
Damn, I had my opening sentence all figured out, sat down to type it & poised my fingers above the keys. As my fingers descended to punch out the first letters, she walked by me naked and smacked me across the back of the head on the way to the kitchen to cook herself some post-coital pasta.

My thought now lost, I looked up at her, mockingly-offended. She shot me a taunting look over her right shoulder and said: "...What?"

Her pasta and instant chocolate Jello pudding vanquished, she laid down on the bed and tried to settle in for the night. Within moments, she let out a startled squeal and was holding an open and dripping water bottle over the edge of the bed.

Her: "Honey, you're sleeping on this side of the bed tonight!"

Me (in a whiny Brooklyn-girl accent):
"How come I always have to sleep in the wet spot?"

Her (in a thick, deep Brooklyn accent):
"You lucky you still on the bed when I'm troo wit-choo!"

Ah yes, can anyone name that early 90's, foul-mouthed, misogynistic comedian?