Saturday, August 21, 2004

posted by: copernicus on 8/21/2004 08:54:00 AM
I am the eldest male grandchild...


..., the 2nd eldest overall. Like it or not, I'm looked up to by my younger cousins, if nothing else than as a role model. I was taking a bath and having an imaginary conversation in my mind --- the potential dinner-table discussion when I tell my family I'm leaving the mid-west to head off to the coast again.

The elders will tell me about responsibilities, about saving for the future, about sacrifice. They will tell me that I need to start the next level of my college education now. They will remind me that I just turned 30, and that 2 more years of school will mean a lot more money in my field. They will use words like: family, children, mortgage, credit, financial planning, property, assets, retirement.

As I scrub the soap into my flesh, I turn to face my younger cousins. I tell them that in our society, we force our children to make choices about a career and put them on the path to that goal before they even know who they are or what they want from life. More importantly, we force them to choose these things before they have experienced life for themselves. We try to cram their upturned faces into another set of obligations before they've even tasted life. I tell them to take the time to experience what life has to offer instead of living for a future that may not exist.

(To quote Bill Hicks,: "Oh my god! There is only this moment!")

I tell them that along the way I've learned that some of what we're taught is true, but most of it is biased, opinionated and bullshit. I tell them not to let another person tell them what to think, or tell them how to feel, or use guilt-trips to get what they what from them.

I tell them that unfortunately, sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do, but that those things should never leave them feeling used or violated. I tell them that people, even people that love them, will try to tell them to put off their dreams and desires until they become more practical. They will tell them this so much that one day the sacrifices outweigh the actual experiences and they will find themselves feeling empty and depressed.

The desires you postpone will one day pin you down.

If there is a point to life at all, it may be only to have a story to tell at the end of it.....an interesting story.....and that means living life without regret.