Friday, February 13, 2004

posted by: copernicus on 2/13/2004 11:48:00 AM
You wanna know how cool my girlfriend is? Check this out:

"Every life is a story. Every moment a chance. As I walk down 85th St. on my search for Cosmo supplies, I see these people. Old couples talking, young boys singing, and I wonder "What's their story?"
If there is anything I have learned from this life, it is this:
A lot of life has to do with timing.
You can recognize the past, and ponder the future, but LIVE in the present.
Every new second is a new opportunity.
Never take life for granted.
You can't plan life. You can only set a few guide-lines.
Never think you know what life is about
You may be able to do a lot of shit-talking, but life has the big boot that'll kick your ass to the ground.
Remember that.
Half-empty or half-full, drink it to the last drop.
If you don't have a sense of humor, get one. Life will make a lot more sense with one."

Did I hit the jackpot or what?
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Simpson's Highlights from yesterday:

Bart is getting information from Homer for a school report.
Bart: "Hey Dad, boxers or briefs?"
Homer (sticks thumb in waistband, pulls pants out and looks down): "Nope."
Bart: "What religion are you?"
Homer: "Oh, you know! The one with all the well-meaning rules that don't really work in real life..........um,..........Christianity!"
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Hullabalooza 1996
Cypress Hill is on stage.
Bart and Lisa are in the crowd. People are smoking weed.
Bart (sniffing air): "What's that smell?"
Lisa: "It smells like Otto's jacket!"
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Still at Hullabalooza, Homer meets the bands backstage.
Billy Corgan (shaking hands with Homer): "Hi, Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins."
Homer: "Homer Simpson, smiling politely! You know, my kids think you're the greatest, and thanks to your gloomy music, they finally stopped dreaming of a future I can't possibly provide."
Billy Corgan: "Well, we try to make a difference."
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Backstage at Hullabalooza. The stage manager comes into the area where the bands are warming up, with a full orchestra in tuxedos and holding their instruments standing behind him.
Stage Manager: "Hello, bands! Who is playing with the London Symphony Orchestra? C'mon people! Somebody ordered the London Symphony Orchestra!..........Possibly while high!..........Cypress Hill, I'm looking in your direction!"
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And by the way, thanks to my good friend Paula who gave me a hug last week and said: "Where did my Jamie go? You're getting skinnier, how much weight have you lost?"

I've never been one to see themself as they really are, it's how I didn't notice gaining all that weight in the first place. Even though the size of my clothes kept getting bigger it still didn't sink in that I was gaining weight. So now I guess its appropriate that I haven't noticed that my clothes are getting looser. Paula's comment made me get on a scale to see, and she's right! I've been 240 lbs. since..............um...........a long time. I'd say I've been that weight for about 4 years, and I've wanted to get back to my old weight of 200 when I was MUCH more athletic and active. I stepped on the scale this morning and was shocked to see a sight I hadn't seen since I moved to Miami in Spring of 1998: 225 lbs.

I don't know how I did it (I'm sure all the fish, veggies, fresh fruit and scuba diving had something to do with it), but I have to take advantage of it. Thanks Paula, and congrats on the bun in the oven. Let's name him Stimpy. Whaddyasay?