Tuesday, January 13, 2004

posted by: copernicus on 1/13/2004 03:10:00 PM
Sorry I won't have much time for posting this week.
I leave for a scuba trip to Mexico on Friday night, and I work almost every day until I leave.

I never do laundry or pack until the night before anyway, just like every paper or project or speech I was ever assigned. I am the master-procrastinator. Maybe I work better under pressure. Or maybe I'm just lazy. I'm guessing the latter is probably the truth. And it's more fun.

I've never been good with jobs , either. I seem to only want to work when I need to work. I'd rather read a book or go for a walk or watch a good movie than go someplace where I know I'll be stressed out for 12-13 hours. So on days like this, when I've just gotten up and I'm still in my underwear sitting at the computer, I'm debating the pro's and con's of working tonight. I could use the money, but I'm not in dire need of it right now. I will probably get in trouble with my agency, and I don't want to make anyone mad, but in the grand scheme of things, what does it really matter?

Am I a lazy bitch for not working myself to exhaustion and making all the money I can like my family and most of my friends do?
Am I more spiritually fulfilled for dealing with each situation as it presents itself and avoiding such stress when possible, thereby leaving more room for spontaneity and creativity?

It certainly feels right to treat the day the way I do, but I know most people in my environment wouldn't agree.

I once almost moved to a ranch in Colorado when I was 19 to work with horses and sleep in a teepee because I didn't want to become part of the American cookie-cutter existence with a 50 hour work week at some job I hated with a white picket fence and 2.5 spoiled suburban kids.

Most of my group is in their late 20's or are turning 30 soon. Are they falling victim to the old cliche of freaking out about their adult lives with each turn of a decade? It seems like they intentionally accept a position of "Oh my god, I'll be 30 soon and what am I doing with my life, I need a career, I need the approval of peers that are adult professionals, I should be ashamed at my lack of material possessions."

I could be totally wrong here, but it seems absurd to all of the sudden decide that what used to be fun now needs to be perceived through the filter of a guilt complex.

Is this consumer existence unavoidable, or am I just the only one around here who still feels like a kid?

-Jamie-
===============================
By the way, it is now 40 minutes later and I did call in sick.

I'm going to go out on the deck (it's up to 45 degrees now), drink a hot chocolate, read a book and listen to the birds.

That reminds me of a quote.

BEHOLD!!!
RANDOM QUOTE OF THE DAY

"Once a Zen Master stood before his class about to deliver a sermon. Just as he opened his mouth, took a breath and was about to speak, a bird sang. He said, 'The sermon has been delivered.', and left the classroom."

"Schrodinger's Cat Trilogy"-Robert Anton Wilson-1979